TEARS IN HEAVEN

So, this morning at about 4 am, Cupid McPoo crossed over the Bridge. He was approximately 6 1/2 years old. Cupid began breathing very laboriously during the evening and it steadily progressed into the night and early morning. Keith and I sat up with him. We talked to him, we held him. I sang to him. We put him in a soft pet bed and petted him.

We put him in his little bed in our bed between us. I remember looking at the clock and it was close to 3:30 am. I must have dozed off for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, he was gone. He was still very warm, so I know it had only been minutes.

We've cried and cried. My head tells me he is OK now, and running and playing. My heart aches. I miss him. He was such a beautiful friend.

I called off from work and stayed home. I cleaned the cages and gathered up Cupid's things: his favorite blanket, a grass ball, a ping pong ball, a sock, his spoon, his toothbrush. I snipped some of his hair (he had a beautiful white and apricot coat) and I snipped some of my hair to bury with him. Before he died, I'd taken his paw prints. Anyway, all of his stuff is gathered together. I picked some flowers from our garden and made an arrangement and put it next to his stuff. And I've been burning a small candle.

Perhaps to some, that's goofy. But to me, it's not enough.

The other ferrets have been a bit quiet today. Their play has been subdued. Last night, as Cupid was laying in his bed, they came up and sniffed him, sneezed and went away. It was strange. They played around him. They seen to have accepted his passing so far. Dave is the one I need to watch, since he and Cupid have always been together.

But so far? Dave has comforted me. They all have.

So long, Sensei. Fly high little ferret. I love you.

I can't write anymore right now.