OH, MY ZIGGY...

Of all the ferrets that seems to miss Snow the most, it's Ziggy. It's seems ironic because they didn't get along so great all the time. But the day Snow died, we laid him on his little bed and let the other fuzzies sniff him and say goodbye. Ziggy visited Snow several times. He nuzzled him and spent a lot of time hanging around him.

Oh, my Ziggy. You never cease to amaze me. What goes on in that little head of yours?

p.s. thanks to my friends for the warm comments and love....

BOYS vs. GIRLS

Sunny asked me if I notice a difference between the personalities of my boy ferrets and girls ferrets. Definitely! The boys are either "down to business" or just plain silly. They tend to prank one another by stealing and hiding each other's toys or pouncing a sleeping victim, waking him up and then running away. They like to romp and rough-house...their play is all boy.

The girls (for the most part) are more mellow and chill. They are quite assertive and tend to get their way. They play more gently and their games are not the rough and tumble fare that the boys like.

Of course, the similarities tend to outweigh the differences. Some love to be held and doted over. Others are always squirming the get down and look for an adventure. Some enjoy sleeping the day away in a favorite snuggle spot. Others take short naps and come out to investigate regularly. I have a girl who digs her food something awful and a boy who (loves it) digs his water. A couple of my boys are organized and neat-niks (a place for every toy and every toy in it's place, thankyouverymuch) and I have some really messy girls.

So, now that I think about it, perhaps it really isn't a difference in gender, but just a personality thing. I love that everyone of my fuzzkids is different.

In health news:

Snow is doing so well -- the medicine for his heart seems to be working great. He bounces and weasle dances all over the place and has a good appetite. This makes me so happy. He and Ziggy are learning to tolerate one another...the squirmishes between them occur less frequently, thank goodness.

I took Baby (foster girl) in to see Dr. Dori last week because she seemed a bit depressed, had some diarrhea and wasn't eating good. She was given Tylan for a GI infection and it was also discovered that she had an abcess around one of her grooming teeth. She ended up having two teeth and the abcess removed and she is doing much better. Poor Baby Girl.

Smokey is struggling with a mast cell tumor on his head. I get it almost cleared up and he goes and scratches it and makes it bleed. Ugh. He has also been threatened with a vet visit if he doesn't leave it alone! Either that, or an Elizabethian collar! (I may have to make one out of a plastic cup! LOL!) He's also shedding something terrific. Not sure what that is about, unless his little body rhythm is off. Hmm. Note to self: A check up may be in order for Smokey Bear....

My little adrenal foster, Angel (I call her Thumballenia), is just doing great. She is so mellow and gets along with everyone. Besides her fish (that is her fish, now. If she is ever adopted, the fish has to go with her), she will dig down into the shredded paper box and nap. One almost can't find her in there!

Everyone else is doing great. No more slick escapes or major dramas (this is a good thing). Now mommy jsut needs to get some sleep...but that's a whole different blog.

FUNERAL FOR A FERRET

Today was the day we buried Cupid. For me, it was a beautiful closure and goodbye ritual for my friend. Keith made a lovely spot in our front garden. We bought this solar glass sphere that lights up at night. It's really cool ~ it changes colors and looks very happy in the garden next to Cupid.

This has been so painful for us and it's been very hard on Keith. I knew he loved Cupid, but I guess I didn't realize how much. He's crushed. And that, in itself, has been a heartbreak for me.

More drama: I came home on Saturday and found little baby Milo with his left eye all gooey and mated and swollen shut. It wasn't that way in the morning when I left for work, so whatever it is, it came on during the day Saturday. I cleaned his eye with warm water and held a warm teabag on it for a minute. (Oh, he loved that, let me tell ya) Luckily, I had some Trioptic-S oinment leftover from a time when Cupid had an eye irritation. Good ole Cupid, he saved the day. The teabag helped the swelling and the Trioptic seems to be taking care of the infection, but we may see if he can get into the vet tomorrow, just to be safe.

Made a big order at Ferret Depot and Totally Ferret today. Hopefully, it will last a month or a little more. Yippee, I got an extension set for the playpen, so there will be more rumble room!

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

My son, Nathan, told me he had a dream about Cupid yesterday morning. He dreamt that Cupid was bouncing and playing and climbing on his head. I choose to believe that this was Cupid's message to me: that he is just fine; that he is happy, free and healthy again. And that there really is such a place called "heaven".

The Eric Clapton song, Tears in Heaven, has been running through my head for a few days now. Nathan says it's "Cupid's Song". Yeah.

I've had so much support and wonderful messages from others. It's really cool to feel the spirit of love and empathy from close friends and people I hardly know. That's grace.

Today has been a little easier, because life does go on. The five WildCats (my other ferrets) are noticing Cupid's absence. I found Dave sleeping in Cupid's sock nest last night and George has been there, too, seeming to look for Cupid. George seemed a bit sad this morning, sniffing around and then going flat as if it was just hitting him that his friend has really left.

Dave, who was Cupid's cagemate and BFF, has been very interesting. He seems...peaceful. And, suddenly he is playing and war-dancing more than I've ever seen him do before. It's almost uncharacteristic for him. And I wonder, perhaps Dave feels the peace that Cupid is feeling.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reaching. But ferrets can be quite intense and feeling little creatures. And I believe animals are intuitive around the unseen and spiritual.

The cage that Cupid lived in for the last month now stands stark and empty. I suddenly have more time again. No more multiple feedings and medication times. No more extra laundry on top of the already circulating pile. No more nights of just sitting there, watching, crying, praying.

It's done. Now our lives with ferrets returns to more of a "normal" (uh, yeah...) state. My blogs won't be monopolized with Cupid and his illness and my fears. Now I can write more about the ordinary, the mundane, the silliness, the tearing out of my hair because the lamp got knocked down again.

There are probably a couple more posts about Cupid. We bury him on Sunday and I will write about that. I will miss him and have waves of grief and I will write about that, too. But, soon I can move on and give the other five guys a chance in the Blog Spotlight.

TEARS IN HEAVEN

So, this morning at about 4 am, Cupid McPoo crossed over the Bridge. He was approximately 6 1/2 years old. Cupid began breathing very laboriously during the evening and it steadily progressed into the night and early morning. Keith and I sat up with him. We talked to him, we held him. I sang to him. We put him in a soft pet bed and petted him.

We put him in his little bed in our bed between us. I remember looking at the clock and it was close to 3:30 am. I must have dozed off for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, he was gone. He was still very warm, so I know it had only been minutes.

We've cried and cried. My head tells me he is OK now, and running and playing. My heart aches. I miss him. He was such a beautiful friend.

I called off from work and stayed home. I cleaned the cages and gathered up Cupid's things: his favorite blanket, a grass ball, a ping pong ball, a sock, his spoon, his toothbrush. I snipped some of his hair (he had a beautiful white and apricot coat) and I snipped some of my hair to bury with him. Before he died, I'd taken his paw prints. Anyway, all of his stuff is gathered together. I picked some flowers from our garden and made an arrangement and put it next to his stuff. And I've been burning a small candle.

Perhaps to some, that's goofy. But to me, it's not enough.

The other ferrets have been a bit quiet today. Their play has been subdued. Last night, as Cupid was laying in his bed, they came up and sniffed him, sneezed and went away. It was strange. They played around him. They seen to have accepted his passing so far. Dave is the one I need to watch, since he and Cupid have always been together.

But so far? Dave has comforted me. They all have.

So long, Sensei. Fly high little ferret. I love you.

I can't write anymore right now.